


No Decisions to Master

by the_rck



Series: House of Sulfur and Mercury [6]
Category: Chronicles of Amber - Roger Zelazny
Genre: Captivity, Fucking Machines, M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Psychological Torture, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 23:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10347477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: Missing scene from The Fruit of Your Intents.Merlin has fun with Luke. Luke doesn't enjoy it nearly so much.Luke POV.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Pregnancy" by Sandra McPherson
> 
> This scene takes place during The Fruit of Your Intents, roughly halfway between when Ghostwheel kidnapped Luke and when Martin arrived. There's nothing in the way of plot development, so skipping it won't have an impact on understanding the other stories in the series.
> 
> The story also includes some things that aren't enough to justify tags but that merit warning: minor shapeshifting, sounding, minor bloodplay, breathplay, forced orgasm.
> 
> The series this is part of contains branching AUs. An explanation of the splits can be found [here](http://somethingdarker.dreamwidth.org/36076.html).

Merlin wasn’t trying particularly to hurt me. He wasn’t being kind, but this was one of the times when he mainly wanted to see me helpless to control my own body in the face of what he was doing. That always worked better, from his point of view, when he forced me to enjoy parts of it.

Well, for certain values of ‘enjoy.’ I desperately wanted him to stop, and he knew that. 

What I wanted didn’t matter at all. I wasn’t sure I remembered when it had, but it must have, once. I’m pretty sure that me wanting him to stop was a turn on for him, but what he really wanted was for me to beg for more while still wanting him to stop. If I’d been capable of hating him, too, that would have been perfect for him.

At any rate, he’d used sorcery to set an unpleasantly large dildo to fucking me. It had ridges and grooves so that my body would close and be forced open wider, again and again. It hurt more when it moved at a middling speed. If it was slow, I had time to adjust. If it was fast, after a little while, I couldn’t tell the difference any more. Merlin knew that perfectly well, too.

He had tied me down with just enough give that I could squirm and writhe. That, after all, was what he wanted to see. Before starting the dildo going, he’d squirted something into my ass that itched and burned, and I’d been trying to find escape or ease ever since. It wasn’t as terrible as the things he’d put directly into my bloodstream from time to time, but I couldn’t keep still. I knew that moving wouldn’t help, but some part of me kept hoping.

When it began, I squeezed my eyes closed, shook my head, and whined. I’d have begged, but when he was like this, he didn’t want begging until I was beyond being able to bear what he was doing. Begging wouldn’t stop him then, but the longer I held out, the more pleased he’d be.

On this occasion, Merlin kept blowing me. He’d carry me right to the edge and then stop me from coming. The need to have an ending had me beyond rational thought. I didn’t even have words, just desperate noises that made Merlin smile. Then he turned his attention to my nipples for a few minutes. That was mostly pain, but it was pain that made my cock harder, something I hadn’t thought was possible. I kept lifting my hips as if that would help, and that, naturally, changed where the dildo was going which hurt enough to make me fall back to the mattress and try, for a few seconds, to remain still.

It wasn’t as if anything I could do would help.

I’d like to think that I was aware enough to be playing Merlin, to be giving him what he wanted before things got to where I couldn’t not. But I wasn’t. And, if I had been aware enough, I’d have been afraid to. He’d punished me for that too many times.

“You want to please me, don’t you?” Merlin ran a hand along my side. He grew a claw on one finger and sliced my skin along the line his hand had followed. The claw was sharp enough that I didn’t feel anything for a moment. When the pain came, I flinched and tried to twist away. Not that it mattered. I couldn’t get all of my body out of his reach. If he wanted me to bleed, I’d bleed.

In spite of that pain, I nodded in answer to his question because I did want very badly to please him.

He smiled. He raised the hand with the clawed finger and looked at the blood-- my blood-- on it. He licked his finger clean, and his smile widened. He reached out and used the claw to carve a line from my forehead down the left side of my face, right at the hairline. “I wonder how much blood you could lose and still stay hard…”

That got through everything else, and I’m sure my terror showed clearly in my face and body. The pain from the dildo fucking me got abruptly worse as my muscles tightened. I tried to take a deep breath and relax, but Merlin covered my face, cutting off all air.

I struggled to get free, to be able to push him away, to escape somehow. I knew that I was pushing myself toward passing out sooner, but I couldn’t stop.

Merlin could have a mouth, teeth, and tongue on any bit of his body that he wanted, so he could blow me and still watch my face to see how I responded. He could also shift so that part of him was pushing into every one of my body’s openings all at once or just into the one or two or three that appealed to him. He liked the way I thrashed in panic when I had been without air for a while. He’d taken me all the way to passing out that way more than once.

He put a hand on my belly just for a moment. Then his mouth was on my cock again. He brought me to orgasm just before I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, Merlin was sitting next to me, looking human and rolling my balls in one hand. “I think we could get you to where you’d come just from being near to passing out.”

I stared at him. I could feel the dildo still moving in and out of my ass. I licked my lips and closed my eyes. “If it would please you,” I said. It wasn’t as if my opinion mattered in the slightest.

He squeezed my balls, not enough to hurt but enough to remind me that he could. 

As if I would ever forget. I forced my eyelids open.

There was a frown on his face. He traced a finger along my cock.

I shuddered.

“It’s not enough, Luke. I’m not sure it will ever be enough.” My confusion must have been obvious because he shook his head. “You’re giving me everything. I want… I want to find new ways to touch you, things you’ve never thought of and can’t defend against. Things that horrify you and things that you want but don’t want to want.”

I just looked at him. We both knew that I wasn’t going to make suggestions and that, if he ordered me to, I’d lie. I suppose the lies might tell him what briar patches he shouldn’t throw me into, but with me aware of that, they might not. I shuddered again and looked away. Then I forced myself to meet his eyes again.

“Is there any bit of you that I haven’t bruised or cut or burned?” Merlin’s lip quirked upward. “Or all three?” He closed his hand on my cock and squeezed gently.

I hadn’t actually been keeping track, but I shook my head anyway.

“Yeah.” Merlin sighed. “And I don’t think there’s any hell I could drop you into that would be worse than the maze.”

I tried to pull my limbs in close, but they were still tied down. “Please, no! Please!” Even to my own ears, I sounded desperate.

“Not this time. I’ll give you that much.” Merlin pressed his thumb against the tip of my cock. I felt a tentacle extend from his flesh and slip under my foreskin.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew what was coming, and I both wanted it and didn’t. I whimpered as the tentacle pushed into my urethra. He hadn’t bothered to secrete anything to make the process easier, so it hurt. I suspected that he’d roughened his skin to make that worse. I shook my head and bit my lips in an effort not to beg him to stop.

“You like some pain.” Merlin’s tone was almost clinical. “We both know that, so you might as well not lie about it.”

I didn’t know what I liked any more. Some of what Merlin did got me hard, but I’d probably be lying if I said I liked it. I’d probably also be lying if I said I didn’t.

But that wasn’t what Merlin was looking for. He wanted a way into my head. He already had all the rest of me, so I supposed he’d get that eventually.

I closed my eyes and gave him a sound that was just short of a sob. That vibrated through my body. I hurt so much, and I desperately wanted it to stop. And I knew it wasn’t going to, not ever. Merlin might give me respite from time to time, but he’d always come back.


End file.
